BOWLING & INTERGRITY

Yesterday was the "Just 4 Fun" bowling league's banquet. My team and 17 others had a nice luncheon at La Caille in Sandy. At the end of the luncheon is when the awards are presented. My team took 1st place, which should have been an exciting moment, but I was really rather tense. And as Paul Harvey would say, "this is the rest of the story"

When Dayna and I started bowling 3 years ago, a fellow bowler told us that for our 1st game of the season, you should not try to bowl your VERY best game. She did not say to tank it, which we don't, just that if you start with an awesome average, it is hard to maintain or surpass it. So for the last 3 years on our 1st game, Dayna, Stacey(former teammate) and I would bowl a mediocre game. Which really wasn't too hard, since it had been 3 months since we had bowled anyway. So the thought of having our best game being in game 1 was pretty silly anyway.

Well, this season we started the same. Then game 2 came. We played a team, their name isn't important, and after having played our 3 games two of the members began to accuse us of cheating. I had a lot going on in my personal life, so quite honestly it did not phase me. I just chalked it up to "poor sportsmanship" and went on with my life. Figuring they would get over it and all would be fine. Well, my teammate Stacey, was quite angry having her integrity in question. So she went to the home of one these women and spoke to her. The woman apologized and we thought that would be it. Well fast forward 3 months, we are scheduled to play the same team and now I have a new teammate, Suzanne, who has heard that the opposing team has pre-bowled because they did not want to play us. I tried not to let this bother me again. I was a little disappointed because I was somewhat friendly, previously, with this woman and that she would "judge" me and not even discuss it with me was very bothersome. So after that January game, I began to pay attention to the ladies on that team. They were so cold to us; no smiles or hellos. They were still angry. I was floored, but I continued to play through the season. Well, we played them one final time about 4 weeks ago and they were just as cold and immature. Not making eye contact, no small talk and I got angry. Seriously, it was bothering me.

Which leads us to the night before the banquet. I was laying in bed, unable to sleep. The thought of going to the banquet and those ladies being there was really bothering me. Who had they told in the league that they felt we were cheaters...how would they react when it was announced that we had won...what would they be whispering as we opened our envelope. Then I found myself wondering, "...did we cheat?" Their behavior this season had made me question my OWN integrity. What if we had, without knowing it. So after the banquet had concluded, I pulled aside one of the ladies that sits on our league's board and told her what we had done and asked if she felt what had done was cheating. She said no. She also said that someone had accused a member of her team of doing the same thing last year. This meant a lot to me. I don't go bowling on Mondays to win (although I will admit it is pretty neat). Of course I want to do well, but I am there for the girlfriend therapy and my large diet coke. I went to bed last night secure with the fact that we had not done anything wrong. I can look those women in the eyes and know that I have not done anything wrong. So the biggest prize for me after the banquet was a confirmation of my integrity and that is PRICELESS.

OGDEN HALF MARATHON

Woke up at 3:45am. Steve and the kids were sound asleep as I dressed for the race. I applied my "13.1" temporary tattoo to my arm, braided my hair, used the foot powder that would help prevent blisters, made sure I had my bagel and Powerade and was out the doors of the Marriott by 4:30am and on my way to be loaded on the buses that would take me and the other 2300 Half Marathoners to the start line. That is when you really begin questioning your sanity. The bus just keeps going and going up the mountain and you keep thinking, "that should be 13 miles...shouldn't it?" The bus finally stops and we file off the buses and feel the crisp air. Luckily there are barrels that have fires lit in them. We all gather around and try to stay warm for the next hour and a half until we begin the race. Some people are chatting about past races, PRs, and injuries they have had. Some, like myself is eating a light breakfast while downing some powerade or water and thinking about what the race had in store for us. About 40 minutes before the race the lines at the port-a-potties begins to form and people begin to shed layers of clothing and dropping their gear bags off to be driven to the finish line. Time to wander over to the start line. I don't line up anywhere near the front. I walk/jog and try to stay out of the way of the REAL runners. So I am more towards the back of the crowd. People around me are stretching and it is now that the excitement of what we are about to accomplish can be felt in the air. At 7:00 am the crowd of people lurch forward and then slowly make our way toward the official starting point. As I cross the timing mat, I press start on my Garmin watch and begin my wa-og of 13.1 miles and hopeful that I will better my time from last year.
The first 4 miles I am feeling pretty good. I want to be doing 14-15 minute miles. I am on track. It is beautiful as I am wa-ogging. At about mile 2 I strip the knit gloves off and drop them to the side of the road for someone to collect and donate to DI, but my hands have warmed up and it is silly to carry them along with me. I am still in the "slower" pack of people. I jog ahead of a woman with the green shirt and then slow down to a brisk walk. Within minutes she is jogging past me and I watch her slow down to a walk. Aww....someone I can pace myself with. We both seem to know this and we continue the "dance" of alternating leads for 4 miles. It is then that I pull off to a port-a-potty and when I come out she is gone. This is when the race began to take a negative turn. Something just started not to feel right. I stop at each water station, have a drink of water and visit the port-a-potty(I know TMI)I'll just leave it at that. Put each stop is adding minutes to my time and no ground is being covered. I am watching my goal of crossing the finish line quicker than last year slipping through my fingers. I am trying to remain positive, "...at least I will finish...remember to run your own race...just doing it is important..."

After mile 10 you are officially out of Ogden Canyon and there is a HUGE group of people to cheer on racers. This feels so good. Kind of the boost ya need to help you go those 3 more miles. I thought it might be enough, along with the messages that have been left by other runner's families, to push me to the end . But shortly after I completed mile 11 I can feel my body aching. Every step brings a new pain along with the discomfort I have been feeling throughout the canyon. I pass by a bench and for a breif moment think, "I should stop and sit there....Steve would come and look for me everntually..." But I don't. I pass by the bench and will my legs to keep going. It is then that my "KNIGHT in SHINING ARMOR' came out of no where. There was Steve who had walked up the trail to walk along with me for the last 2 miles. I was so grateful to see him. I explained to him the troubles I had and my frustrations with knowing I would not attain my goal. He told me I was still making good time considering all the stops I had to make. I know he talked to me as we walked on the trail, but unfortunately I can't tell you what he said. I was focused on finishing. Then we came around the corner onto the street that would lead me to the finishline. That is when Steve left me. He ran ahead to take pictures of me finishing. This, in my opinion, is the longest mile in ANY race. When you can see the finish line, yet it doesn't seem to be getting any closer. I am focused on the music playing on my nano...it is then that Miley Cyrus's THE CLIMB comes on. I know, way corny, but seriously I needed it. I was feeling so defeated that I had not made my goal, but then I hear Miley singing,

"I can almost see it

That dream I'm dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head sayin,

You'll never reach it,

Every step I'm taking,

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking but I

Got to keep trying

Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain

I'm always going to want to make it move

Always going to be an uphill battle,

Sometimes you going to have to lose,

Ain't about how fast I get there,

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb"

I totally began crying. Not a pretty tear dropping down my cheek, but the full on blubber with the ugly look on my face. I began to run, as much as my legs would let me, until they lead me over the finishline. And as I crossed they announced, "...Nikki Weber just finished..." over the loudspeaker. I get my medal for completeing the race. And that quick it is over. My official time 3:39:26. Definitely not my best time, but I DID IT and I FINISHED!!!

ZACK'S DAY

Zack's morning began with a breakfast at school. Steve and I came along and he received an award for being STUDENT of the MONTH. As I said in a previous post, he has really worked hard to figure out how to maneuver life with his Asperger. He has worked so hard to maintain his straight A's and of course Steve and I have been so impressed of his hard work, but it was neat to see the school recognize his hard work and what an all around good person he is. We had to say a few words about him, and in typical Nikki fashion, I got choked up as I spoke about Zack and how proud I am of him. The principal told us that there are over 1500 students (7-9 grades) at the middle school. And every month 2 boys and 2 girls from each grade are chosen from a list that teachers have nominated.

Then Zack's day ended with the school SPRING CONCERT. Zack performed 3 pieces with the Concert band. He even had the opportunity to introduce the song, "Lest We Forget" which was being dedicated to those who serve our country. Then he took a small break as another group of band students performed and then returned to perform with the Jazz band. He told us later the funnest part of the concert was the music he got to play with the Jazz Band and in particular, "Dawnwood Blues". I am so glad he is enjoying playing the oboe. He is looking forward to playing with the Symphonic Band next year as a 9th grader and also joining the Bingham High School Marching band

BELLE'S SOFTBALL

This year Belle is playing 12 and under softball. It is been fun to watch this year,but many of the rules have changed. She has had a couple of chances to pitch this spring. She is still struggling a little to get her strikes, but I love her spirit to keep trying. She is one of the smallest players on the team, so much so that her coach has taken to calling her, "TINY". Initially she was a little frustrated that he called her Tiny, but I think she has realized that he is calling her that because he likes her.

JUNIOR HONOR SOCIETY

Zack was inducted into the Junior Honor Society this year. He has managed to maintain straight A's this year and decided to apply. We are so proud of all his hard work. All I could think as I sat and watched the ceremony was how far my son has come. During 6th grade, when his Asperger that was not yet diagnosed started to be a challenge in class, I watched as my son felt so defeated when it came to school work. His grades had slipped and he had lost all confidence in himself and his abilities. Flash forward 2 years, he has managed straight A's for the last 2 years in middle school, some of his classes he has over 100 %, he has learned how to prioritize his time and to control his impulses that are a part of his AS. I know all the parents that sat in their room were proud of their child's accomplishments, but I felt something more. My son has battle himself and it appears as won.

The best part was seeing this smile. He was proud of himself and what he accomplished. That night he was my HERO.

TIFFINY'S BREAST FRIENDS

Belle, Katie, Becky and I walked with some other friends from our wad in the Susan G. Komen Race for a Cure. We walk in support of my friend Tiffiny who is a survivor.

SCRAP & PLAY

Gotta love a weekend away with girlfriends. A few months ago Suzanne, Dayna, Tammie and I signed up for Scrap & Play that was being hosted by Creating Keepsakes Magazine at the Marriott in Provo. This was a whole new event. I had attended CKUs, but this promised to be a little more low key. There were a few projects that we would be working on and then we would have lots of cropping time. Teresa Collins came on Friday evening (shortly after her grandson was born) to instruct us in making a book about home. I love, love, love her style. She spent a little bit of the time with us sharing the 1st pictures of her beautiful grandson. We scrapped into the early morning and then retired to our room for a few hours of sleep. It was here at 2:30 am that Tammie decided this would be a great time to have a pillow fight or run out for ice cream. Unfortunately for Tammie, the rest of her roomies were too tired to indulge her. Saturday morning we dressed, grabbed a bagel or muffin and wet back to scrapping. The Scrap & Play staff hung around until about 5:00 pm. It was then that they left us all in the banquet room with no music, or games or anything until we were done at midnight. Although the projects and attention for the first half of the event were wonderful, CK once again lived up to my low expectations. I can't imagine inviting friends for a crop and then leaving them in my basement with no music and food. Truly the most important part of the weekend was spending time with friends.

SALT LAKE MARATHON

This was my first time running in the Salt Lake City Half Marathon. Steve has run the Full course a couple of times and it was the 5K that I first tried any sort of race. This year I thought I would give the half a try. We got a ride to the start in our friend's motor home. Which made it very convenient for last minute potties before the race. Steve and the other "real" runners took their place toward the front of the pack, while I headed to the back of the line where I would feel more at home. I was a little nervous to be ll alone, but once I crossed the start line, I really got into the fact that I could o at my own pace. No worries about how fast the person with me was running or the fear of going too slow and embarrassing myself. It was my race, my run and I would do it MY way.
I enjoyed the course, more than I thought I would. I did not have my best time, but I had thought it would take me 3:45 to complete the whole thing I was done in 3:25. So that was an accomplishment, for me. And even better was that I felt GREAT. I did have a few blisters on my feet, which I was actually a little proud of and wore like metals of honor. The Salt Lake Half is definitely a race I would like to try again.