Thursday, February 04, 2010


Tuesday, I had not done my early morning treadmilling. I spent the early morning finishing up the synopsis of Sunday's Relief Society lesson for the Newsletter and then received an email from the Bishop asking if I could email him the Ward Newsletter in the next day or two. So for 2 1/2 hours I bounced between the two projects making sure that they were PERFECT. I did not want to let the sisters in the ward down by not having the newsletter in their "inbox" that morning and I did not want to disappoint the Bishop by not getting the newsletter, in PERFECT condition, to him. I was so meticulous in making sure the page was balanced, that fonts were appropriate for the theme of the article, and that the clip art was "just the right". Everything was emailed and I shut down my computer and then I had to decide...would I put on my workout clothes and get on the treadmill or would I just pass for the day...
It took some self talking, but I did go up and get dressed in my running clothes and even grabbed the mittens and ear muffs and decided to take it to the street. As I left the house with Miley Cyrus singing "The Climb" in my ear I was deep in thought. I thought about all the effort and time I put into those newsletter, trying to make them PERFECT. Would anyone even notice or care? Why do I put so much effort into something like that and yet I find it so difficult to put that much effort into my own fitness? Something that is so important to my health and longevity? I need to have that same mind set for my own health. I know it exists. I have seen friends that have that dedication, Steve stands as an example of that dedication. Maybe a good part of that thinking is not wanting to let others down. This brought me to thinking about how determined I was to not let people down...yet it is so easy to let myself down..."you promised yourself you would wa-og today"..."Ah, there's always tomorrow". End of conversation and off come the work out clothes, not to be thought of the remainder of the day. This conversation continued for 3 miles until I walked back into my warm house.
Did I come up with the answer...NO...but I am glad I acknowledge this way of thinking I have.


jo said...

"...This above all to thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night the day and thou cannot be false to any man." Hamlet: Polonius to Laertes act III scene II.
What you say is a truth that we all struggle with and few if any of us really master, being truthful with ourselves.

Trainer Momma said...

I love this post -- very thought provoking. Why do we care soooo much about what others will think, yet put our own needs up on a shelf? We all do it to some extent -- but at least you have recognized it and are able to self-evaluate. Thanks for the thought.